Welcome To My Green Pasture....

It is a place of quiet rest that I have found when I am writing. I hope that someone will find my musings helpful in some way.
Psalm 23:2 "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restoreth my soul."

My Green Pasture....

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Just My Imagination

I once again am wide awake at 4:00 A.M with so much on my mind. The clock is ticking...the dog is once again stretched out here on the sofa...coffee getting cold in the cup as usual while my mind ponders these many things going through my head. For reasons unknown to me I am back in a quaint little town of Contoocook,New Hampshire. I see a big old New England style white Congregational Church, a corner General Store...and then my favorite...the covered Bridge. I remember standing in that bridge...I think I wrote my name in there once. I miss going to that quaint place where we used to go to visit two very special people who we called "Uncle Gerry and Aunt Elgie" although they were not actually that. Gerry reminded me of a little leprechaun and was always smiling and laughing until he got so sick he was in a hospital bed in the living room. Elgie was a bit eccentric and nervous and never failed to get out her accordion to give us a concert when we arrived for a visit. It was always quite a show...believe me. They had cats! Lots and lots of cat hair! They had a little dog named King whose little tail curled up like a pig's tail! They used their teabags about a gazillion times over and over...and would save them for the next visit! They lived very meagerly and miserly. They had a big old barn where they kept rabbits and I remember not really liking to go back in there...it was kind of creepy to me...I knew that was where Gerry killed his rabbits. I think they probably served us a few so called "chicken" dinners that were Not! if you get my drift. The house was an old farm house that had only one bathroom but three bedrooms up and two down and they had no children so always had room for us to stay when we visited. Up the steep creaky stairs we would go,my sister and I, with our Samsonite suitcases then to the left ..... to the door that was always locked! Why???No one ever knew for sure but my little mind as a kid had many theories!! For one...as you first opened that door that was always locked, you would see a huge bed with a metal frame..like something in an old horror movie...then there was the dresser and then ......the coffin!!! I thought it was a coffin!! Turns out later ...I found out it was not...but it took me until my late teens to be convinced! I think my sister and I used to spook each other into thinking there was actually a body in it!! I felt so creepy sleeping in that room and almost expected that chest to slowly creak open in the middle of the night with some creepy old lady slowly emerging with long gnarly fingers! Another one of my childish theories about this chest that looked like a coffin, was that Elgie secretly stowed away her millions of dollars in it and that's why she always kept the door locked...I liked this theory better since it wasn't quite so scary! The weird thing is...sometimes while we were trying to sleep... in the middle of the night, I would hear creaking on the stairs... one by one, slowly, coming up the stairs! I would feel that scary lump building up in my chest and throat and get the goosebumps and just hide under the covers! Then I would hear the footsteps slow at the landing and creak some more ...see a small glimmer of light underneath my door.... and a shadow of feet...Then, after what seemed like an eternity.... the creaking would begin again, but going the opposite direction...down.. down.. down... the stairs.. thankfully, for me,and my lump would soon go away in my throat and my chest would start to feel better! I would fall back to sleep.  As I got older I realized that what was actually happening in the middle of the night was Elgie using what old timers call a chamber pot ! She kept it right on the landing at the top of the stairs! Why? Well, that's another story for another day! Anyway, these two precious people were special to me in spite of their weirdness and they are both up in Heaven shaking their heads right now...Gerry probably getting a laugh...and Elgie just not sure what to think of me! But anyway ....it is funny how a kid can think... sometimes our adult minds do the same. We imagine all kinds of things that really are not So. It is especially easy to look at a situation and think we KNOW what is really going on or what is happening....but remember not all is as it seems!! Don't let your imagination get the best of you!

"Casting down evil imaginations".... "perfect love casteth out fear"..... "trust in the lord with all thine heart"... "I will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on me".  ....and there are so many many more.....

Friday, April 29, 2011

Things I Wish I Had Done

Life I am finding out is relatively short! I am 51 and it seems like I was just a kid skinning my knees and climbing trees and catching salamanders under logs! Sure there are a ton of things I have done in my 51 years that I regret however I am realizing there are so many things I regret NOT doing! Why am I even thinking on all of this stuff this morning, you may wonder? Recently I received some "bad" news from my doctor which I suppose could make me depressed if I let it, but I know that only God knows what is in store for me and I am good with His plan; and am again reminded of how short life indeed is. We take it for granted when we are young and think we will live forever! Well...we have human bodies that wear out and get diseased and die, sometimes sooner than we planned. I am not going to tell you the things I wish I had done.....maybe another day after I compile a good long list!! But to my kids I say there is one that I should have done......I knew I should have done the bungee jump when I had the chance....don't think my 8oth birthday party is gonna quite make it. I have been saying for years that I would bungee jump on my 8oth birthday. There are many things I suppose you may have said..."someday" to. That  "someday" may not come. Life is short, sometimes way shorter than you think. Use today wisely, you only get it once.

"It isn't the thing you do, dear, It's the thing you leave undone, that gives you bitter heartache at the setting of the sun....."~~Adelaide Proctor

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Coffee Is Coffee!

Anyone who really knows me, or has sat at my kitchen table  for a visit, knows that I am a coffee lover! Not just your average coffee drinker! I like it strong! Maybe that is why I have health issues...???? Oh  well...it is something I truly enjoy in the morning when I am soaking in the quiet stillness and hear the ticking of the clock on the top of the entertainment center, with the dog and cat stretched out next to me on the sofa. I was so tickled when I found these old coffee cans in the barn! I felt connected with my husband's grandpa and grandma who had lived in this old house long before us. Coffee lovers...yay...but I wonder why the cans were so stinkin' small back in the day? I would have gone through a can in two or three days. I noticed in my searching around the barn that there were more coffee cans scattered here and there, with this and that in them. Screws, parts, just odds and ends, all of course pretty rusty,and grimy. Grandpa must have confiscated all of the coffee cans as they used them and then taken them to the barn to put his "stuff" in. It must run in the family;....my husband collects and saves everything I try to throw away....I guess you call it being resourceful! Anyway, ..somehow I got off of the coffee....sorry. I guess what I was thinking on was that there were different kinds of coffee cans. I think I found at least five different brands. Each can had a unique design on the outside but on the inside....Coffee! To me, coffee is coffee, so long as I make it strong, it is good! Each of us are unique. We were designed that way,..to each be different, yet we are all people! To God, we are all the same!! I get a bit irritated at people who are Christians and can't accept other Christians who may be just a tad different in their "brand" so to speak,,,,, but in their hearts they are born again Christians...we are going to be so surprised when we get to Heaven..I don't think it is going to be divided up into sections! All of the ones from this group, go over here...and if you are from this group you belong on the other side! We all are going to the same place and we all are getting there the same exact way.. through the blood of Jesus and only that. Some Christians need to get off of their high horse and start loving other Christians and stop being so judgemental toward them! Newsflash..... You are going to spend eternity with these people...Love as Jesus does.                                                                                                                                 I John 4:11"Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

What Is It Good For?

Everything serves a purpose. Some of these purposes are so clear to us and yet others are so obscure we scratch our head and wonder how it could serve any purpose at all. We think ,"what is it good for?" This was another of my finds one day in the barn! I don't have any idea what it even IS never mind what it is good for! Maybe one of you will know...you might have to admit your age in recognizing it however! I look at so many things that have happened in my life that while they were occurring I had no clue what purpose they were serving and now as I look at them can see the hand of God in them. He had everything all worked out down to the smallest detail. He still does. Amazing...yes, we make our own choices and when you think about it, it is because He gave us a free will so that we can choose. In spite of our choices, He still redirects and works behind the scenes to bring to pass what is supposed to be. I have learned to be a better listener ....I have heard people say they have learned to "talk" to God....but have you learned to listen? Maybe because this past year I have had a lot of time of not feeling well and just sitting still...it has been a good experience. He speaks through His word but He also speaks through a still small voice within our spirit when we are quiet. He calms our anxieties, fears, concerns. He lets us know He already has a plan and already sees down the road and knows which way it will curve. He reaches out His strong hand and grabs a hold of ours and promises to be right by our side throughout the journey no matter how steep the mountain path may get. It has taken me a long while to learn these lessons....but this week when the doctor called in a somber voice and cautiously tried to explain to me my recent test results, I told him to just come out and tell me...and I honestly felt no fear and no anxiety. I know He has a plan. I do not ask, or tell Him to remove this from me, because I do not know the purpose it is serving. He always has a purpose whether we can see it or not. He has promised to never leave me without support...so I trust that He will provide the strength I need to endure this and to be a blessing to others in it .God never promised a trouble free life...what He did promise, was that He is with me in each trouble!

Isaiah 41:10 " So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A Love That Never Fades

Whenever I hear of another young couple splitting up my heart goes out to them. I have a very personal reason for this since I too, have been through the experience of divorce and the feelings of rejection that go along with it. There is nothing quite like it. For a young mother to be left with the responsibility of raising four precious children on her own, while dealing with her own feelings of being abandoned is quite a feat. Unless you have been there also, then you really have no clue what that is like. I am thinking on this because I was reading Psalm 136 this morning. Over and over in each verse it is repeated, that "His love endures forever."  There are twenty-six verses! This really caught my attention and brought me to tears. His love is a love that will never fade or decide to leave for something better. His love is permanent! I am so thankful for this fact this morning. May you also feel His unfailing love.
                                                                                                                                                                                 Psalm 136:8 "...the sun to govern the day, His love endures forever."

Monday, April 25, 2011

A Hearty Welcome

Have you ever been some place that you really did not feel welcome? It is an awkward feeling. Sure the people put on a fake smile and say hello and maybe even offer you something, but underneath it all you can sense that you are not really wanted, there in their presence? I have been in that situation a few times and I usually want to remove myself as soon as possible. I have learned over the years it is so much better just to avoid those situations in the first place than to stress myself out over feelings of  awkwardness like that. Yesterday, I went to a place where I felt a different kind of welcome though. It was so refreshing to be welcomed over and over by so many smiling faces.  I went to a church that had a couple different services but of course I did not get there for the early one! As I stood in the foyer waiting for the one service to end so that I could enter, so many familiar faces kept showing up and giving hugs. Then as the double doors to the auditorium opened and people started pouring out one by one, there was this one and that one stopping to say hi and stopping for a hug. Precious friends I hadn't seen in awhile and it was so good to see them all! As I sat down in my seat a thought struck me! I think that when we first get to Heaven that is how it will be! We are going to be overwhelmed by the hearty welcome of all of the faces of people in our lives who have gone before us! They will all be there cheerfully greeting us as we enter the doors of Heaven....and that is just a tiny part of it....the best is beyond the doors!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Love Speaks Louder...

I can bet you have heard..."Love speaks louder than words."...
Oh, so true. When you say you love someone but then in turn you do not ever believe in what they are doing, are never proud of them, never build them up....hmmmm I wonder is that "LOVE"? I have been thinking on this a lot lately ..examining my own self...I want to thoroughly love the people in my life in the proper way. My adult children especially, and now also my grandson. When we say we "love" someone, do we listen to what they are trying to  tell us, or are we too consumed with our own petty problems to pay attention to what the message really is? It is funny that so many think the Bible is not relevant to our lives today...but why is it then that there are always verses on the subject matter at hand? God already thought of this....He talks about what true love is and isn't, in I Corinthians 13.... known as the "Love" chapter of the Bible. It always amazes me that people start saying "judge not lest ye be judged", when it comes to someone maybe looking at them for a change, and maybe seeing something undesirable in their life. Those same people show no true love to their own children or grandchildren! They preach to others but don't practise it for themselves. If you are going to preach, then practise. If you love your own children, and I speak as a mother of four myself, you are in every way trying to believe in each one, and build them up all through their life. I thought yesterday of a sunbeam...my little grandson, what a fantastic little blessing that he is! I do not see him as a burden, or just another baby, as some might! I love him and that is the difference! I was thinking this morning, if that little baby is a sunbeam,than I need to be a big old lighthouse with a big bright beacon, to shine my love all over the place. I want it to be so bright that it will never be questioned. I want my children and grandchildren to feel the warmth of the radiance from it, and my friends to feel it too! When you say you love but you are jealous, unkind, critical, judgemental, rude, self- seeking, easily angered.....well guess what? I think your light in your lighthouse has gone out and needs re-lighting!!! Love truly speaks louder than words. I want to make sure that my love radiates so much that it makes my words believable!
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."~
I Corinthians 13:4-7

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Grandma's Little Sunbeam

As you can tell if you have been reading any of my posts at all...I am SO sick of this wintry gloomy rainy weather...sorry I don't really mean to start out this morning complaining! It is just that when the weather is damp and cloudy and gray and cold...I tend to ache more and really have a struggle to feel human! I love it when I see the sunshine beaming through my windows and it just gives me renewed strength and energy to face whatever is ahead! Yesterday was a rainy wet gloomy kind of a day here in the Northwoods once again! My spirits however were not gloomy... my body for the most part was not too achy, and I had the best day I have had in a very long time. Why, in spite of all of this nasty weather? Well...it was because of the little sunbeam that was in my life yesterday! I had the privilege of spending the entire day with my son and grandson who is four months old. What a great time we had! Grandchildren have a way of bringing a joy into your heart that is unexplainable other than to say that he was like a warm sunbeam in the midst of my storm!! After a long day the little guy finally caved in and was snuggly tucked in for a night's rest and this weary grandma with her cane, dragged her tired self into her car and drove herself the 45 minutes home. All the way home just kept thinking of what a warm feeling that being with my son and grandson brought to me. Then I realized how much we take for granted. I was so very thankful for that little sunbeam yesterday! Can't wait for another warm snuggle.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Don't Be Scared!

Have you ever been scared? Dumb question I suppose~If you are breathing, then at one time or another there has been something that has given you goosebumps a time or two! Maybe you are adventurous like me, and have tried to be scared on purpose....like being stupid and going on the meanest, steepest, roller coasters or never being able to find a haunted house that was quite worth the money? Maybe you like to watch scary movies that keep you on the edge of your seat. Those are all fake ways to be scared...but what about when the "real" things in life throw you a curve, and give you a scare? What then? Maybe a certain quality has been cultivating in me my whole life in order to handle some of life's scary moments...I don't know...but even as a kid when my friends would be scared...I was always the brave one..the leader of the pack saying "c'mon guys...what are you so afraid of?"   Many times since then, I have had to face so many scary situations and realize after looking back at them, that God had given me a sense of real peace at a time when I should have been scared to death! If you are facing something scary today...remember there is someone available to hold your hand and give you peace and calm your anxiety. I have always loved this...."What  time I am afraid, I will trust in You..."~Psalm 56:3

Thursday, April 21, 2011

It's A Choice!

It's a definite choice that we make each day to drag our weary bodies out of the bed! If we are smart we will first make it to the coffee pot...at least in my opinion! I feel a bit more on the human side after at least a few sips of my extra strong fuel. Second to that, I sit and try to relax before the start of my day and think on some blessings. This I have found, is a definite choice!! I have to force myself to choose to think on counting my blessings; I am not always so good in this department....I must confess! I naturally in my mind want to go first to the negatives!! There always seems to be about ten negatives to one positive!! I start thinking to myself...OK ...self...something is wrong here!!! Surely you must have somehow overemphasized the negatives or overlooked some things that you could count as blessings!!  It is the truth...there are so many things that I end up thinking of. You should give it a try...even if you think you don't have that much to be thankful for....just start counting and you will be surprised with what you come up with. It really doesn't come naturally, it is a choice...but the more you do it the more you will realize you have been blessed with so much!

Psalm 103:2 "Praise the LORD  O my soul, and forget not all His benefits..."

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Mr. Ed In The Driver's Seat

I do not go horseback riding any more! As a matter of fact I don't think I have been on a horse in at least thirty years! Mostly because I have had disc surgery and there is no way I am going to take a chance on bouncing around my bones! Back in the days of my "youth" however, I did go horseback riding. My kids, if they are reading this are probably thinking..what? Mom never told us that! Well.... there are SO many things...and a lot of you older parents know what I mean. Anyway...There was one particular time when I was in seventh grade and our youth group went on a horseback riding activity, and my best friend at the time, and myself, were so excited! It would be another chance to torment the leader! We were constantly tormenting the poor youth leader. Why? I have no idea...maybe we just wanted attention..But he always fell for it, and gave it, so I would say we were successful! (It is interesting how your "Best" friends kind of vanish as you go throughout life...or sometimes they disappear for a while and then reappear in a different scene.) Anyway, after riding, we were to have a cookout at this leaders' house....but somehow my friend and I managed to wander off into the woods. We discovered  a horse skull laying in the field. Our evil minds starting thinking of how we could use this to pull a prank on the leader. We took the skull and put it in the driver's seat of his car, and then went back to the group to join in with the cookout. We were feeling just a little guilty, but waiting in anticipation for the moment when he was going to discover Mr. Ed in the driver's seat! We were all eating hot dogs and enjoying ourselves, and actually, after awhile kind of forgot about our little prank.....Then, out of nowhere, came a high pitched scream that caught every one's attention! Everyone pretty much ran to where the leader's wife was.......by the driver's seat of the car...sobbing. OH BOY!! We wanted to go hide somewhere!  We heard murmurs like..."who would do something like that???"   Needless to say, after much questioning....me and my friend confessed to our wrongdoing...and that it was intended for the Mr. not the Mrs.! I have absolutely no idea why she went to the car...she must have needed something she left in there... but I think of  the shock  of seeing that horse skull propped up on the steering wheel and think to myself, if it were me today at my age....I would probably have a heart attack! I am glad she didn't! You can see, I was usually doing  something mischievous!....but now I have something to write about ....so I guess it served a purpose after all!! I do think of how sometimes things in our lives just kind of pop out at us like that horse skull and scare the living daylights out of us! Things happen everyday in our lives like that.... it is a part of life. But I have learned that there are never any surprises with God... He already knows what is up ahead.. He already knows about all of those horse skulls, if they are there... and He can handle it! Now just to make it clear....yes, my friend and I, did apologize immensely for our terrible prank...
              Psalm 27:1 "The LORD is my light and my salvation~ whom shall I fear?
 The LORD is the stronghold of my life~ of whom shall I be afraid?"

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Come ON SUN!!

If you have the luxury of living in a warm climate, then you probably do not feel my pain! I am So longing for the sunshine and warmth of Spring and Summer! We seem to get a tiny taste of it and then it goes back to being damp and chilly and my bones and muscles go into fits! I keep telling myself....OK, in another day or two it will be warmer...Ha...then it ends up colder! We have gone through most of our two woodpiles this year, besides our propane gas being filled a few times! Alright, enough complaining....the Lord knows my thoughts on the subject already! One of these fine days that Sun is going to shine in little Old Wisconsin and it will finally be Spring...There is Hope.....I was reading Psalm 19 this morning....no accident, by the way! Verses 4 & 5 caught my attention since I was already thinking on this to begin with. "In them hath He set a tabernacle for the sun which is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoices as a strong man to run a race. His going forth is from the end of the heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it: and there is nothing hid from the heat thereof." We will Be Warm Soon!!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Just Wait Awhile Longer

I have to admit, I have never been a very patient person. I like things to happen on my timetable and when they don't, it is easy to get bent out of shape. Hopefully though, I can say I have progressed at least some, and am not as bad at this as I used to be! I surely have had enough trials in my life that have tried my patience and taught me to roll with the punches a little more than when I was younger. There are still some times however, that I feel like God isn't doing anything about my prayers... I don't see anything happening. Nothing changes. It is during these times that I need to remind myself that He is working behind the scenes and is up to something! I may not know or understand exactly what or how or when or why ...but I know that He is! So I continue each day to lift up my hands to Him and trust that He knows what is best for me. I will pray and trust and wait.
Psalm 37:5 " Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun."
Psalm37:7 " Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him;"

Sunday, April 17, 2011

A Guided Tour

I remember one time as a kid being on a field trip to some museum...and yeah, I have no idea what museum, because I never was interested in museums...as a matter of fact, I hated those kind of field trips!...Anyway, we were supposed to be on a guided tour of this museum and listen to the seemingly, long winded speech of the tour guide, and follow her every step...ugh!  I, being the impulsive, impetuous person that I am.... was itching to break away and go my own direction and explore on my own! Who needed a stupid tour guide anyway? When no one was paying attention.. I did just that, and soon I was free and easy; roaming from room to room on my own.  At first it was great fun and exciting! Then after awhile, I realized all was silent and I had no clue where I was, and no idea how to get back to my group! I roamed around scared for awhile thinking I would be left behind and all of my friends would soon be back on the bus heading back to school without ME! I sat down and began to cry...I am not so sure how long I sat on the floor crying but it seemed to me like a very long time...when soon I heard my teacher and the tour guide calling my name...They had found me! I got the scolding of my life of course for leaving the group in the first place and I should have known better to stick with the Tour Guide since he was the one who knew the way around! I think I should have learned my lesson that day..but you know life is just like that. We do have a guide that knows the way better than we do, yet we sometimes try to go our own direction and at first it is fine and dandy.....until we realize we don't have a clue! We should have stuck with our guide in the first place! I have many times in my life been stubborn and wanted to do my own thing...and have found out it brings some pretty sticky situations and consequences. The sweet thing is that the guide in my life loves me and always comes to find me. God doesn't just leave me  or forsake me. That day as a little girl in the museum when my guide came back to get me, I was so thankful! He hadn't forgotten me or left me behind! The Lord never forsakes those who have called upon Him. No matter where you may be or what you have done...He knows His children and will always bring you back to where you belong!
       Psalm 32:8 "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye."
Hebrews 13:5 "Never will I leave you: never will I forsake you."

Saturday, April 16, 2011

A Happy Reunion

It has been twenty-four years now since you went to Heaven but there is never a day that I do not think of you. I still do not understand why God wanted you in Heaven so soon, but I do know that His plan is best and He had a reason. I can still remember your sweet little face and remember my last embrace and the last kiss. How I long to hold you in my arms again. Your life was so short. I know that when I come through the gates of Heaven you will be there with arms open wide to welcome me home and tell me how much you love me. I have never had to worry about you though, for  you have been in a safe place. I have never had to agonize in prayer over you  for making wrong choices in your life....I have never stood by and watched you disrespect me as your mom....I have never cried over you because you were sick and in the hospital...You have never lied to me... You have never stolen from me...You have never argued with me or blamed me for your "horrible" childhood...You have never been in any kind of trouble...So there are some things here you have missed out on ...you have been in a better place. We will have a happy reunion one day.....and the very thought of that day gives me the hope I need for this day.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Arm Around Their Shoulders

It was just a normal day in the life of this young mother, twenty-seven, with five small children all under the age of four. The oldest was a little over three, the first set of twins were fourteen months old, and the newest set of twins, merely two and a half months. Her morning routine started as usual around five a.m. with coffee and getting her husband off to work. She then would sit for a little while in the still of the morning peacefulness, and sip her coffee and pray before the hustle and bustle of tending to a toddler and four babies.
The oldest was usually the first to pop out of her small twin bed which was tucked into a corner in the same room where the four cribs were neatly arranged, with colorful toys lining shelves along the walls. She was the little helper, and always by her Mommy's side to offer assistance. Next to awaken would be the fourteen month old twins who would be jumping up and down in their cribs eagerly awaiting their escape. This escape would attempt to take place without awaking the other two babies.They would then make their way to the kitchen where the oldest would entertain them while they ate their breakfast. They were a happy bunch. While they were busy and happy, the mom figured it a good time to go and get baby no. 1 and feed him his bottle then get him into his swing. Then came the shock that no mother wants to ever experience. When she went back into the room to pick up baby no.2, she noticed that he was not breathing! His limp little arm just dangled out of the side of the crib. She must of screamed something, for at that instant the oldest was quickly by her side. In her childlike honesty blurted out,"Mommy, he's dead!" In an instant, the mom swept the precious little baby into her arms and held him close to her. His limp little body was still warm, and in desperation the mom placed her mouth over his nose and mouth and blew breath into him. Several times she saw his little chest rise but knew in her heart it was already too late. Her heart sunk as she tried to no avail and he just lay lifeless in her arms as she ran with him to the other room where the phone was.
She picked up the phone and with a trembling hand dialed 911 while clinging tightly to her little baby. She quickly dialed the number of her friend who had been such a help to her and she agreed to come over immediately to care for the other children.
It seemed like an eternity waiting for the ambulance to arrive and this lonely mother just held her precious baby to herself, kissing him over and over and cried. While she waited and kissed and cried, she felt an arm around her shoulder. It was the arm of her daughter who was only three and a half. She seemed so much older at that moment....for the comfort she gave was like the comfort from an angel. It was an arm around her shoulder, that the mother would never forget.
The paramedics arrived and began all of their CPR and soon ushered the baby out to the ambulance out of the arms of the mother forever. The dear friend arrived at about the same time and graciously took over taking care of the other children. The young dad of course was phoned at work and informed and told to meet at the hospital.
There they sat in the Emergency Room waiting room, the young mom and dad, for a very long while before any one came out to tell them any news. Finally at one point a staff member came and said they were doing everything they could and for them to be patient it would just be a while longer before they could go in there. They sat and they waited and they cried and they both knew. As they sat there holding each other, they felt an arm around their shoulders......this time it was God. A true sense of peace was there.......a sadness, yes.....but a peace. A kind of peace that tells you "it's going to be alright somehow."
Soon the doctor came who had just examined the baby about a week prior and given him a good bill of health. She was obviously shaken and to tears. She had been their doctor for a few years and had grown fond of this family. Then the much anticipated moment arrived. The nurse came toward the couple, her face ashen and tear stained, and in somewhat of a timid voice proclaimed that everything possible had been done but that he had not survived. She was so sorry. These certainly were the worst words these two young people would ever hear in their lives! They did not fall apart...they stood there and hugged .... the three of them.....the young mom, the young dad, the young doctor, all three sobbing.....but through the tears the mom said,"He's with Jesus now...." Then the young dad through his tears, "we will be OK...we will see him again some day." At that moment they all three felt an arm around their shoulders. This unique moment, was interrupted by the receptionist at the desk telling the doctor that she had an emergency phone call,so of course the grieving couple excused her for a few minutes. When she returned, her face was red,and with tears streaming down her face, she explained that her husband had just committed suicide. That young mother and father instantly wrapped their arms around her shoulders and cried with her and told her they would be praying for her. God's arm was around their shoulders that morning on April 16,1987, and because it was, they in turn were able to comfort this young doctor and put their arms around her shoulders.
Several months later, the young mother received a letter from the doctor explaining that she had taken a respite from her practise after her husband's death but also wanted to thank this young couple for the love they showed her and the inspiration of courage they were to her even in their hour of grief. She needed an arm around her shoulders....and this young couple was able to give it because they had a stronger arm around their shoulders.
2 Corinthians 1:4 " ...and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Sun On MY Face

I glance upward with eyes closed. I can feel the warmth of the sun beaming down upon my face. It feels so refreshing after a long cold winter. There is something about feeling the sun that makes my soul feel so peaceful and at rest. That is where I am supposed to be....at rest I mean! Totally engulfed with the warmth of His presence to the point of feeling zero anxiety, zero fear, zero fretfulness!! Am I ever there?? I stand in the yard; head upward, eyes closed, soaking in that warmth, thinking ...how simple it really is....just turn your glance upward...cast all anxiety upon Him....surrender it all.                                                                                                                                    Proverbs 14:30 " A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

My First Friend

I still remember her head of dark curly hair. She was a year or two younger than I was but we were best of friends. We were neighbors. I remember her contagious giggling. Her house was an escape for me. I was only six years old but I was allowed to go to her house since it was right next door. It was like a breath of fresh air. There was laughter, there were lots of hugs, there were snacks and Batman and Robin on a color TV.  There was a Grandpa and a Grandma who acted as though I was a part of their family. Bless their hearts....they are responsible for getting me hooked on coffee!! They made me "coffee-milk" every time I was over and it tasted so good to me, not only because of all of the sugar and real cream that was in it, but because of the love and acceptance I felt when I sat at their kitchen table and sipped it with a spoon, and listened as the Grandpa told silly stories to me and my friend, and as she giggled and giggled. It made me forget my own sadness for just a little while. We sat on the cellar door in the hot sun and sang silly songs..we skipped along in the woods together holding hands...we colored together. Just simple things, but they were important to me! I was very sad the day my friend and her family packed up a truck and moved away...I only saw her a few more times after that, and then she was gone forever from my life. As I think back over my life, I realize now, that God has always provided me with one special friend at just the right time, and at just the right place  in my life! There have been many people who have been friends, don't get me wrong, but some have been very special. I have come to really treasure friends. I have heard people say... that they don't need friends. I think that is a lot of  boloney! I have come to value my friendships and see that we each can give so much to another person. We don't even realize what a little kindness can do for a person who is going through something that is hard. I love all of my friends. I am thankful most of all for the Best friend who has never left my side of course.....He has always been holding my hand.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

My Neck Of the Woods

When you say you are going to the Doctor, you probably think about getting in your car and driving  a few blocks, a few stop signs or traffic lights along the way. Maybe you have to fight bumper to bumper traffic to get there or have to get on the interstate for awhile and fight crazy drivers that want to run you off the road. Believe me.. I have had that kind of driving plenty of times in my life. For me...going to the doctor yesterday, meant getting in my car and having a very peaceful, relaxing, one and a half hour drive, while listening to Enya and watching the wildlife along the sides of the road, in the wilderness of the Northwoods here in my neck of the woods! I wasn't into my journey more than about ten minutes, when an Eagle came swooping down in front of me to nab up some juicy tidbit of a morsel on the shoulder of the road. So majestic, and although they seem so plentiful here and we see them quite often, I am still in awe of their strength! Then I went on for awhile longer and out of the corner of my right eye,  saw a beaver splashing around in a small pool of water. Just in my quick glance as I was driving by, I saw it dive up and down a few times and knew it must be busy at work building a dam. Spring was truly beginning to be evident to me as I drove mile after mile listening  to my music and thinking on things. Then in front of me across the road runs a fox carrying a black crow in it's mouth over to the side of the road where it continued to massacre the poor bird! But...it had a nice meal...If any of you listen to Enya ever..you know it is very relaxing...I probably should NEVER listen to it while driving!!! I was, I believe, getting a little too relaxed, when out of nowhere....or I should say, out of the depths of the woods on the side of the road, came.....mommy deer and her babies one by one across the road in front of me! Fortunately, I saw them in time to stop! I thought they would keep walking across the road and go into the woods but nope!! They decided to make me just sit there stopped! They all three stood in the middle of the road and just stared at me for what seemed an eternity! Then when they were finished checking me out, they went off into the woods one by one, and gave me a nod as if to say it was OK for me to go on my way. Well I finally did make it safe and sound to my doctor's office with no further to-do. Strange how on the trip home there was not even one sighting of one creature! But my thoughts went once again to comfort. So many times I find myself concerned over things I shouldn't be concerned over. Things always have a way of working out. God always sees to it and He always takes care  of me. I was reminded once more...".hey..dummy!! don't you remember??? God  takes care of all of these creatures that you see... don't you think He can take care of  You??" I think in my neck of the woods there are a lot of lessons to be learned.

Monday, April 11, 2011

An unexpected Visit

I was very happy to have some unexpected visitors yesterday. It sure did make my day brighter. This past week has been a week of extreme fatigue and lung problems and just a little bit of gloominess. What a nice surprise that the sun decided to shine and it was a beautiful warm Spring day here at last! The dog was actually able to be outside in her pen all day long and the cats were out roaming the fields probably searching for a few field mice. Besides the sun in the sky that visited though, even better was an unexpected visit from my son, daughter-in law and little grandson! They even brought lunch with them! What a fantastic blessing that was! The blessing to see how this little guy is growing like a little weed, and is so healthy, is beyond  value! I have much to be thankful for. No medicine in the world could make me feel as good  as I feel when holding that precious little guy! So maybe it is no big deal to them that they visited but to me it is everything and for that I am so thankful.....please do it again ....soon.
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine."~ Proverbs 17:22

Sunday, April 10, 2011

So Many Bears!!

 As you can see I have quite a few Teddy Bears! I really have not bought these for myself...... and really I am not sure as to the when or why I started collecting them but it has been for a long time! These bears are very special to me you see, because they represent the Care...Love...Concern...Prayers, that others have given to me in times of my need. Most of  these Bears were given to me at a time when I was in the hospital or recovering at home with some illness or another. If you look at all of these Bears you would realize I have been sick a LOT!! A good number of these Bears have come from  my own children since they know me the best and have known their Mom to be a crazy "Old Bear" Collector!  As I look at each Bear represented I am reminded of each surgery that God brought me through......each hospital stay....each sickness...each sadness...wow..I could write a whole book just based on these Bears!!! Each Bear holds it's own memory dear to my heart. Most of all these Bears remind me that through all of the many trials I have already been through....God has been there for me and He has always placed just the right people at just the right time in my life....so sometimes I just pick up one of those Bears and give 'em a big hug and thank God for His goodness.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Embrace The Positive

I am coming to appreciate more and more the many positive people who have been, and currently are, in my life! They are so important to me! A positive person is like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day! To paraphrase that in "My" language....a positive person is like a strong cup of coffee first thing in the morning!! Of course, by now if you have been reading my blog, you know that first of all, God is my Best friend....but I am talking now about next to Him....I sure don't want to spend  what time I have left on this Earth, being around negative, gloomy, sour, rude, people! I choose....my children, friends, and family members who really want to be in my life and support me. I am in a unique situation of being a caregiver and having  a Chronic illness myself that apparently has decided to act up at this time in my life. I truly need all of the support emotionally that I can get. The last thing I need is more stress. I love the fact that God has put so many supportive people in my life to override all of the ones who are not.....how amazing.  The dark doesn't seem so dark when a friend is holding your hand. I am thankful for my two beautiful daughters and the love they give me and for my two wonderful sons who have grown into men. I am thankful for a precious little grandson and for his Mommy who has been added as my daughter in law. I have a son in law  who I am thankful for since he loves my daughter and is a wonderful man. God is good...my family is growing....and I am sure there are a couple of more marriages in the near future....maybe...??? I love all of these .......and feel their love in return although many times we are apart.....and wish we were closer, but that is all part of life and all parents pretty much have to deal with that. A big thank you goes out to all of my hugging ladies I meet with every Tuesday.....they have been a bright spot in my week for the past year and will continue to be! I am also overwhelmed at all of the people who have connected with me from all over the world with Fibromyalgia and other Chronic illnesses. Thank you for all of your positive inspiration! I am so thankful to find out there are so  many positive people in this world....why in the world would I want to choose negative ones to be around?? I CHOOSE to Embrace the Positive!
"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you."

Friday, April 8, 2011

Showers Bring Flowers

It's hard to believe we are into the month of April already! It doesn't really feel as if  Winter is officially gone for good here in the Northwoods but I am hoping so. Our yard is a bit mushy from the melting snow, and the water seeping down the hill into the driveway, is making for good mud pies should you want to make some! I haven't seen any flowers just yet although I have been hearing sounds of Spring, such as the birds first thing in the morning, and the loud cries of the wild coyotes, as the nightly train makes its way through our little rural town, at late hours at night, when I am trying to sleep. The April rains should be coming too. Remember the saying..."April showers bring May flowers!"  I do appreciate the rain, and I realize we do need it for a variety of reasons, and besides it is a free car wash!  As a result of  the rain we get some beautiful flowers. This makes me think of that song I used to sing with my First Graders a long time ago...."The Blessings will come down as the prayers go up..the blessings will come down as the prayers go up... the blessings will come down as the prayers go up....so build your house on the LORD Jesus Christ." There is some truth to it...blessings do come when you pray! I can definitely say that is the truth.  Some things have happened in my life recently that there is no way it could have happened unless....it was God.... and they just happened to be things that were being prayed about...so I know that God cares about what I say to Him and He does answer prayers that other people pray for me and I am so thankful to have so many praying friends!!! Keep 'em  going up 'cuz I sure like those blessings coming down!!
Jeremiah 33:3 "Call unto me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you know not."

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Not Home Yet

If you have ever been on a long vacation, then you know that even though you may enjoy your journey, there is nothing like the ending of it when you can finally return home. I have been on trips before for two weeks at a time, some of which seemed way longer than two weeks, and by the time I got home I truly felt so thankful to finally be home once again! I have even said, "Home Sweet Home"...as I walked through the door lugging my suitcases in both arms! This life we are living really is just a journey we are on, and one day it will end and we will finally be "HOME" in Heaven. That is the hope that we have that one day we will walk through the gates of Heaven and we will be "Home" at last. The journey will be over.  Rest ...Peace...Joy...Beauty...Warmth of the Son,  like we have never experienced before, here in our present journey.....All of our loved ones that have gone before us will be there to welcome us " Home". I would like to think that when I am ushered through that gate I am going to say......"Home Sweet Home". But until then...God gives grace for our journey and expects us to enjoy our journey....so enjoy your journey today...remind yourself that no one knows how long their journey is going to be......make the most of each day.

Psalm 23:6 "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell  in the house of the Lord forever."

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Ride Away To The Land Of Far Away

 She was just a small little thing with two pony tails with red ribbons sloppily tied on each. Her shoes a few sizes too big since they were handed down and her  pants needed a safety pin to cinch in the waist in order to stay  up.  She wished she had pretty clothes and shiny shoes like her friends and pretty braids. She did not know why there was always so much yelling and screaming....it made her tummy hurt! It made her want to cry! She didn't know what to do. She just wanted to run away from it all. She got on her faithful friend....her pony, who she talked to everyday.  He listened to what she had to say....no one else did. She could pet him and talk to him and then things would start to feel a little bit better. She would get on "Chestnut" and ride away to the Land of Far Away where there was no yelling....no screaming!  She would ride faster and faster and as she rode she would sing to the top of her lungs all of the songs she was taught in Sunday School......"YES, JESUS LOVES ME....YES,JESUS LOVES ME..YES, JESUS LOVES ME...THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO...." She would ride and sing and cry until she was so worn out she would have to stop and then get off her faithful little Chestnut give him a pat....and say "thanks for the ride".

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Birdie On The Branch

This morning the sun is so brightly shining as I raise up my blinds in the living room. It is a long awaited blessing. Now if the temperature would only go along with Spring....my computer tells me that the current temp this morning is 25 at the moment! I have hope though, that Spring is just around the corner here, while it has already arrived many places South of me! As I opened the door this morning to hook my dog up to let her out to do her early morning ritual, I noticed a change in the atmoshpere! It was not silent out there! I heard birdies chirping!! Yay!! Then I sat down on my recliner couch to drink my coffee and looked out my window to see a little birdie sitting on the very edge of the branch right by my window! I haven't seen that in a long...long...time. So Spring  IS coming, people of the Northwoods, who thought it got lost somewhere! That little birdie on the branch was making quite a bit of noise all by himself too...so cute. He made me take notice of him. It made me think of the birds and the fact that God takes care of them. It reminds me that I am valuable...more valuable than that little birdie on that branch! If God takes care of a little bird He surely is going to take care of Me...another newsflash from God to me...to quit worrying about things...

Matthew 6:26 " Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

Monday, April 4, 2011

Wood For The Fire

This is our woodpile or  I should say it is one of our wood piles. Some winters we use more than this pile to keep our two woodstoves burning. We do have a furnace as well with propane heat but the winters are pretty harsh up in the Northwoods so in order to save on heating costs we burn wood. Those woodstoves can really put out some warmth and heat the entire house when you keep the wood going in. If by chance you forget about it and  don't put any more wood into it then the fire goes out. Funny that in Proverbs, gossip is likened to this. The more you talk about something to someone else, about someone else, the more people get involved; and then pretty soon you have a huge bonfire of gossip and lies. If you choose to just let it die out and not fuel the gossip by spreading it, then it really doesn't go anywhere. A good thing to remember is that if someone brings a tidbit to you, then they are taking a tidbit from you to someone else! I sure have some work here! The best thing to do is to stop it in it's tracks before it can even get going.....so if need be...just keep your mouth shut and you will keep yourself from a world of trouble.

Proverbs 26:20 "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down."

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Hidden Blessings

I guess this is one of those days I am gonna have to say that the blessing to it must be hiding somewhere!! This weather is really CRAZY!! One day it looks, smells,and feels like Spring and  the next it is snowing, sleeting, wind blowing, with the roads all covered with ice! I know for sure that this old achy body is going to definitely "Not" want to be outside today! It is Spring somewhere....just not here in Wisconsin...yet! I read recently that the most beautiful flowers are produced from the coldest winters! We should have some very spectacular blooms this year if that is true! So perhaps that is the raggedy hidden blessing I am looking for in this gloomy icy weather this morning that is going to keep me indoors.There are some blessings to being able to just sit and rest. God has enabled me to reflect on so many things while just sitting sometimes, and it is while we are silent that He speaks. So on this icy day, may I find the hidden blessing of just resting and reflecting, and perhaps doing some writing that I so love to do! And while the icy rain is coming down upon the earth, may I rest in the fact that God is producing some beautiful flowers that are going to bloom very soon in my yard and in my life! Thank you Lord for the rainy days...for without them we would not appreciate the sun!

Ecclesiastes 11:7 "Light is sweet and it pleases the eye to see the sun."

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Free Kittens

I will be sure  that Spring has indeed arrived in the Northland when I drive down our country roads and start seeing signs that say "Free Kittens"! They are usually plentiful in the Spring on all of the farms! We have three and that is enough. There always seems to be a few strays wandering around here though, looking for food.  Even if we don't throw them anything I am sure they are able to find a few shrews or moles in the fields or barn, so I am sure that  they don't go hungry. Sometimes I get very annoyed with the fact that we have three cats but my husband blames it on me, and says it is my fault for getting him to like cats in the first place; however I have a confession to make! I have never really liked cats! I actually am allergic to them and have to take benedryl to stand them! I could really live better without them! I allowed them when my kids were growing up because of my daughter Jen..the one who loves all four- footed creatures, and would take compassion on all strays if she could! She even rescued a cat from the missile field in North Dakota and I had to drive that cat all the way from North Dakota back to Illinois with it whining and crying the whole way!! But I did it because I love my daughter...Not the cat so much....! Anyway, I was getting very annoyed by all of the cat hair in the house since this has been a very cold winter and they will not go outside. I had carpal tunnel surgery so the vacuuming ...well, not been quite to my liking.  So, needless to say there has been a lot of hair floating! I thought to myself this week...what good are cats anyway?? Why in the world would God create such a creature that is constantly rubbing up against you and licking you with that sandpaper of a tongue? Yuck! Then one of the days this week when I was not feeling so well and I decided to lay down for awhile, one by one, the "Cats" all came and curled up next to me on the bed! One right up in my face purring as loudly as she could...I don't know if I was really thrilled about that! The others miraculously were laying right next to Honey, my English Cocker Spaniel. So, there we were...me feeling lousy, and the  " Cats" and the dog showing me some comfort. That is when it struck me that God made these funny little creatures for a purpose. One of which  is to bring comfort to us. We all had a nice nap that day.  I am thankful for the fact that God even thought of giving us creatures to comfort us.  I guess I will keep them!

my prayer

my prayer