Welcome To My Green Pasture....

It is a place of quiet rest that I have found when I am writing. I hope that someone will find my musings helpful in some way.
Psalm 23:2 "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restoreth my soul."

My Green Pasture....

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Fields Of Green

"I see fields of green... red roses too"... blah- blah- blah- blah....blah- blah- blah- blah... "and I think to myself... what a wonderful world".... hmmm, really? Seriously? In a few weeks,  or maybe a month at max, this field of green will have turned to a poopy brown and the leaves will be changed also, and there will be a very cool chill in the air. Blah!  I guess you could call this the  "blah humbug" of the last days of summer. It is ending... the little kiddies are bugging their parents for all of the latest back to school gear and the latest in style gadgets in order to be cooler than the kid next door. I sound a bit bitter that summer is ending? Yep .... I love summer and hate winter  that is just the honest truth... it is not that I am a foreigner to the cold and ice of the northern hemisphere! I grew up in Connecticut where the winters are just as harsh as Wisconsin, but I still do not like to be cold! I do not like to have to stay indoors and stay put. I like to be on the go and to be around a lot of people. To be cooped up in my house with the dog and three cats and a man all day long, is not my idea of  a good way to spend my day. I already have a plan for this winter.... I am calling it my "plan to escape insanity".... I have several ideas for some children's books that I am working on and hopefully will actually get them written on the many snowy cooped up kind of days that I know we will have. Oh I am sure there will be a few of those snowy days when I will feel like pulling my hair out and will forget that I wrote this, but for now I am telling you, that when you feel poopy, and you think the field of green is virtually non existent ...remember that something good comes out of each day as we give our cares and disappointments to the only one who can do anything about them. God Himself. Face it ....no one else really wants to hear about all of your woes anyway... for the most part. I  am glad that when my field of green seems to have disappeared...He lovingly does something really amazing for me to remind me that He still is with me and cares.. nothing escapes His watchful eye and He will right the wrongs. It will all be clear one day.

"And we know that all things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Rom.8:28

Monday, August 29, 2011

Hello Irene!

Hello Irene.... not so nice to meet you!

On the boardwalk Ocean City, Md

A twister hovering in Md
This hurricane could have done so much more destruction than it did and for that we should all be thankful. As I watched the weather channel very closely almost non-stop during the duration of this hurricane especially as it made its way along the lower eastern shore where I have lived and where I have family members and friends, I was very concerned for their safety and thought in no way that the media was making too much out of it! I thought they did a fantastic job of warning people and of getting people prepared. It is much better to be prepared than to be taken unawares and wiped out!  It still was very destructive all up and down the eastern seaboard, and there are many people who will be struggling in the near future here to rebuild and put their lives back together. It is a mess especially in New England right now... so just because you maybe were not affected by this doesn't mean the media put too much hype into it! If it were you ... you would probably feel differently. Be thankful it was not as bad as predicted and learn from this one since it probably will not be the last.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Worry Wart

I was talking to some ladies the other day and we all admitted  to being worry warts at one time or another. It is easy to do...there are always concerns and things on our minds that can cause us to be anxious and to fret and get upset. It is easy to lay awake all night long going over different scenarios in our wee little brains until we have a massive headache. A sweet older lady was talking about this very thing and mentioned that a very special verse had meant so much to her on a few such occasions lately when she found herself just way too anxious, worried and uptight. It has been a rebuke to me these past few days as I am well aware of this verse. One that was memorized many years ago. At times when I am especially longing for "peace" and "quiet" I really should remind myself of this instead of fretting and struggling to work everything out on my own.  Today...let's give it a try.."Alright, Lord...Here it is....I have this situation that I need you to work out!....Instead of me worrying and fretting today, help me to trust you to lead, guide, direct my paths, and provide the means for me to do what ever it is that you are expecting me to do!" Now..I plan on drinking a bit more coffee and getting on with my day.
              Isaiah 26:3 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee because he trusteth in thee."

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Lost Keys

I headed out into the field yesterday sprayed down from head to toe with bug spray. My straw hat upon my head and two long sleeve shirts on for added protection against the bugs and the prickers since I was planning on getting into the blackberry bushes. I stuck my cell phone in my back pocket just in case by some weird fluke I might actually get a signal way out yonder in my field. I also put my bundle of keys in my jeans pocket since I never leave the house without them. I grabbed my wooden walking stick with the animal footprints painted on it. I was ready to pick berries! Off I went into the field, only not as briskly as I used to before this lung surgery and this Sarcoidosis. I was soon oblivious to everything around me except for the big purple blackberries hanging off of the prickly bushes, and as the mosquitoes buzzed angrily in my ears, I picked as quickly as I could and tried to keep from being bitten. The bug spray just was NOT working so I had picked enough after about a half hour and decided to head back. I realized I had walked quite far and was pooped by the time I got back to the house. Just when I reached into my jeans for my keys I noticed they were no longer with me! Panic! OK, I have to admit that I was so exhausted from this walking in the field already that I really just wanted to lay down and cry! I sat outside on a stump for a few minutes  and thought. I did not remember having a spare key to my car... I absolutely had to go back through the field and the blackberry bushes and retrace my steps and find those keys!! UGH! It was going to be an impossible task and I was SO tired! Up I got, and started up the hill again, looking on the ground. As I continued walking I started talking out loud to God... "OK God.. you know where I dropped those keys... and you know how tired I am... PLEASE, Help me to find them, and soon!"  I walked a bit further looking along the edge and started to get a little teary and almost ready to give up and then I saw the bundle of keys sticking out of the bushes... right where I had apparently bent over to pick some berries and lost them out of my pocket. It was a good reminder to me that even in simple frustrations such as these I need to seek His help and He is there for me. If He cares to help me in something this trivial then I know that He will help me with the much larger problems that I face. I am so thankful that I have a friend that loves and cares about everything that I am going through... both the big and the small problems. He even cared about my lost keys.

Friday, August 19, 2011

This Worn Path

This worn path I've walked down before many years ago, and many times. The difference between then and now, is that now I walked it alone and then, I had little hands in mine and plastic buckets and blankets and towels, draped over the arms. As I now trudged wearily up this slightly inclined path, and stopped several times along the way to catch my breath... I wondered where the time had gone. It seemed like it was yesterday when it was a lazy summer's afternoon and my four children were playing in the water on their green alligator or building sand castles on the beach nearby. I take in the beauty of this place and the calming effect of the sound of the waves crashing upon the shore. This is one of my favorite places. I sit here on the concrete wall overlooking the water with so much weighing on my mind.
I have just come from a funeral. A very blunt reminder once again of the brevity of life. It sinks into my soul of how very quickly the past fifteen years have flown by. I try to recall them one by one but find it so difficult to picture all that I so desperately want to remember. I am ashamed of myself for how much time I have personally wasted on trivial things that really don't matter. I think again of my illness and wonder if perhaps I may not have much time left. I surely don't want to waste it on such trivial things. I want to be at peace with the people in my life and if they cant be at peace with me then they need to free me from themselves. Life is too short and goes by way too quickly...use your time wisely for you only pass this way once.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Crossed Paths

I am still amazed at times when I look over my life and see the many different people that have been in my life and have crossed paths with me at one time or another. some have only popped in for a second or two it seems and others have stayed on when I at times wished they would disappear! I believe there are very specific reasons why certain people cross paths and why they are in your life. The reason may not be all so evident at the time but as you look back it becomes more clear. Yesterday I had just got home from a failed fishing trip when I received a phone call from the hospital. A dear friend of mine was brought to the hospital by ambulance and had given my name as someone he knew would pray for him. I of course went right away to see how he was. I have only known him for a little over a year now but felt as though I had known him all of my life. He comes to our prayer group. Yes I said, "He". We have a ladies prayer group... but this man who is disabled, asked if he could join us and we said yes so ...in the process of allowing him to come this man who was abandoned at birth and placed in an orphanage in Chicago, and later adopted ...was saved as a result of us "letting him in" our group. He has the kindest heart of anyone I have ever met in my entire life. His family has pretty much abandoned and rejected him at one time or another, and he is virtually alone in this world. God put him in my path for a reason.... As I sat by his bed at the hospital last night I realized how God sees this man is so different than other people do. I wonder if we are looking at people through the right eyes? I hope I am. Maybe I need to pay more attention to the people who cross my path.... there is a reason.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Seek peace and pursue it.... yeah...hard to do when some are so argumentative and stubborn. People hear what they want to hear..have you noticed that? You say red, they say blue. You say yes, they say no... doesn't matter what the subject. How then, can you have peace with a person like that? I must choose within myself to not listen to the emotional temper tantrums of people who can't accept reality. Stop allowing yourself to be agitated by people who provoke and irritate so easily. Let them be, and don't let them steal your joy.                                                                                                                                                John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you......Do not let your hearts be troubled."

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Time For Something Good

I can hardly stand to watch the news anymore... there are so many negative disturbing events being brought to  our attention. I think as I watch ... it is time for something good! I am sick of hearing about all of this horrible news. Can they find something good to report?  The same holds true in my own personal life... sometimes I just get sick and tired of hearing about all of the negative news (gossip), that people have to tell. Is there never anything good to report? Why is it that people like to focus on the ugly side of life? When talking about a relative always have to tell you all of the "bad" things going on in their life but not one good thing? There must be something good ... somewhere...I suppose all of us at one time or another have been guilty of being the reporter and of being the receiver. Anyway you look at it.. it is time for something good! I for one, want to concentrate more on the positve things in my life and though it is difficult to find any sometimes... if I search hard enough I will find them! If I expect them from God then I do find them...and many times I have to just turn my back on the negative people around me and say I am not interested in what they have to say. It isn't worth the time it takes for them to say what they just said about so and so.  People tend to become negative busybodies in other peoples business when they don't have anything to do... so maybe you just need something constructive to do besides minding everyone else's business.  I love for my true friends to tell me they are praying for me... that is great and I am so thankful for those kind of friends... what I can't stand are people who use "prayer requests" as an excuse to get on the phone and gossip negatively about someone. I long for something good....The Psalmist also longed to see a sign of goodness from God.... He must have been feeling similar to what I am feeling.

Psalm 86:17 " Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you O Lord, have helped me and comforted me."

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Just A Matter Of Time

Seeing the bales of hay in the field and feeling the early morning chill in the air is a stark reminder that summer is drawing to a very quick end here in Wisconsin. It is a short season here but so appreciated especially by me! In just a matter of time the short season of summer will be over and the leaves will all be changed to a wide variety of colors across the top of this hill.  I have been outdoors, soaking up the fresh warm sunshine, as much as possible, for I know that shortly here, I will be all snuggled up on my sofa, wrapped in blankets, with the wood stoves fired up. Soon the dog and three cats will be laying around lazily, also not wanting to go outside in the cold! I am not an outdoor person when winter comes! I was quite surprised this morning when there was such a chill in the air. It really is beginning to feel more like fall. I even saw a few trees with red and orange leaves already! Of course the stores all have their ''Back to School" stuff out on display already and some even are putting out their Halloween stuff! Wow...nothing like rushing the seasons! I just want to make summer last as long as possible! Maybe we will actually get a very warm fall....all the way until Thanksgiving.... wishful thinking! All of this quick season changing here in Wisconsin makes me think that whatever I am going to get done I better hurry up and do it! I need to quit procrastinating things... I am pretty good at doing that...partly because I just don't feel well most of the time but sometimes just because I guess I figure I have plenty of time to get certain things accomplished. Boy... my life is just a few more seasons and then it is done... I had better hurry up and do whatever it is I am going to do .... make use of my time.... I don't have time to waste it on people who don't care for me or just want to find something to criticize me about. My clock is ticking ... and every minute that goes by is a minute that could be used for something positive. Even when I am just sitting here sick... I can write and encourage someone else, or pray for someone or give someone a call. 
                                                    "Teach me to number my days..." Psalm 90:12

Monday, August 8, 2011

Let Him In The Boat

I am not a fan of row boats. I know they are a lot of hard work especially if you are rowing against the wind or trying to row upstream. I would rather just float down a river on a rubber raft on a calm sunny day, watching the clouds go by. At times in my life it has felt as if I have been rowing against the wind and no matter how hard the oars are dipping and pulling at the water around me, I just stay in the same place. The disciples once had the same problem after they went out into the boat on the lake. It seems they were fighting against the wind and struggling and Jesus saw them from the mountaintop where he was and actually walked on top of the water to get to them! I know many over educated theologians have at one time or another tried to explain this incident in the Bible away... I happen to believe it happened just the way it says. When He got to the boat where they were... He got in and the winds died down and they proceeded to the other side safely. What if they didn't let Him in the boat? Good question for myself....I guess it is a duh...moment...so many times I am just rowing away against the wind and there He is just waiting to get into the boat but I think I can handle it myself so continue to struggle needlessly.  Wow... OK.. I give up... I stop frantically rowing .... please get in the boat, Lord.... please, calm the storm... you can get me where I need to be much better than I can!

Mark 6:48 "He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them."
Mark 6:51 "Then He climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down."

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Roll With The Punches

Well I guess this is a lesson of life I have been learning through all of my sickness and various weird problems! When you go through many trials over and over you somehow become pretty flexible and learn to not get too wound up if things don't go exactly as planned. You learn to "roll with the punches".  I had some great plans of doing a major amount of cleaning yesterday since it was really the first day since my surgery back in June that I actually wasn't in severe pain, so I thought I would take advantage and get busy and do a bit of some long overdue organizing and cleaning. I got into it about one hour but then found out that my pain- free day quickly changed into a high pain day with new symptoms thrown in... so, the cleaning and organizing, although I did get a start on it; got put on hold once again. Years ago, this would have made me pretty upset and I would have been in a foul mood for the rest of the day... but I decided it wasn't worth it...Sometimes MY plans get altered and I need to alter my attitude. Sometimes that is the best thing I can learn from it.....just to "roll with the punches" and quit having a "pity party" when everything doesn't work out exactly as I planned. I honestly believe that sometimes God arranges for My plans to be messed up on purpose....maybe He wants me to just sit back and realize it didn't really matter anyway.  

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Not A Morning Person

Not a morning person? Hmmm. Have a few kids and you will soon become one. Your days of sleeping in are soon over once little junior arrives on the scene. I have never been a "morning" person really however, had two sets of twins plus one so didn't ever get a chance to not be a morning person ... it's just that a lot of those years of doing it I just didn't really feel like it! That's where the coffee habit came into play and the more I have aged the stronger my coffee has needed to be! Seriously though, I have learned that I cannot allow my natural feelings to dictate how my day is going to go. Naturally I kind of wake up a bit on the down side every day... not sure if this is "normal" or not or just part of "ME" but I have to pretty much fight this every day of my life. Maybe I am not alone and you also have this ...."Not a morning person" syndrome. The most beneficial thing I found that helps me get past my first twenty minutes is to take the time to sit with my cup of extra strong coffee and sip and pray and pray. God doesn't seem to mind that I am enjoying my coffee while talking to Him... and it does help me wake up. Just saying.... you don't have to "Play church" and get down on your knees and act all "holier than thou"! God sees you just the way you are anyway so why not just be yourself around  Him? If you can't be real with God you certainly can't be real with anyone else ... not even yourself. Sometimes I just sit quiet and don't even know what to say to God... it is at those times I know He is just sitting next to  me ... just there. I have discovered that even though I am not much of a morning person... God certainly is.
~ Psalm 5:3 "In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you in expectation."

Friday, August 5, 2011

I Beg Your Pardon....

"I beg your pardon... I never promised you a rose garden..." just a song from years past but I can't stop thinking of it. I just don't get it... why do some people think and act as if they are supposed to live a life free of sickness and pain just because they believe the Bible? No where in the Bible does it even teach this false doctrine. Just because you act pious and teach Sunday School and tell everyone you meet that you are a Christian doesn't mean that your life is going to be free of hardship. Who do you think you are, that you are not going to be sick at some point in this life? As long as we are breathing we are going to have some kind of trial going on either in our own personal life or in someone who is close to us. We are not immune from these troubles just because we can shout a "Hallelujah" louder than anyone else. Who ever told you that? Whoever it was, got it mixed up. God never promised us a problem free life... He did promise to go with us through the problems. He never promised to take them all away.... He does help us become the person He wants us to become through them. Our problems are not punishments as some teach... He is not a big, bad, boogey man in the sky waiting to pounce. Maybe that is the kind of father you were to your children so that is all you know how to compare ....but He is not like that from what the Bible teaches...if you really read it.
This is why, I do not agree with people who plead with God for Him to take away their sickness.. I do not do this. Maybe you disagree with me, but I figure if God allowed this it must be for a reason.  If He wants to heal me He certainly can and will in His timing. But for me to tell Him what to do is a bit too much for me! I have made that mistake before and it cost me a lot... so if I were you I would be very careful telling God what to do. God is God .... He can do whatever it is He wants to DO! He is the one at the potter's wheel... I am just the lump of clay. He knows how to make it into something more. Our life here on Earth is not going to be perfect so why are we so upset when it isn't? Learn to accept from His hand the good and the not so good or what seems not so good at the time. I have learned that sometimes the things that seem so horrible at the time ...later on actually have turned out to be a good thing. I understand a little better now why it was that after so much sickness and suffering Job was able to say...."though he slay me yet will I trust in Him." He learned this principle... that God does indeed see the whole picture and knows and wants whatever is BEST for me. I may not have a "rose garden" life but I was not promised one.
                                                                                                                                                                                  Job 23:10~ "But He knoweth the way that I take; when He hath tried me I shall come forth as gold."

Thursday, August 4, 2011

What's So Funny

It's been awhile since I had a real laughing fit but there have been times when I have been so tickled by something that I just had to laugh and maybe couldn't stop. Usually it is when you are not supposed to be laughing... maybe it is "inappropriate" like at church...God forbid you should crack a smile or break out into a giggle! I honestly believe that some people think, the more sour and puckered up their face looks, the more spiritual they are, so they never smile or laugh. I have to laugh at people who go overboard on the serious... are they for real? I was wondering this morning about God and if He has a sense of humor. I answered my own question I guess, because the more I thought about this, the more I realized that He made us the way we are in the first place. We have the ability to laugh! Why would we have this if we weren't supposed to use it? It would be like putting a radio or CD player in a car but then saying "do not use", on it! Just because you are a Christian doesn't mean you need to go around like the most sour- puss, serious person, on the face of the planet and scorn anyone else who seems to be the least bit joyful. Relax... it's OK to smile a little.... laugh a little... enjoy your life a little...God's idea of an abundant life that He gives us, is not sitting around being miserable, negative, worrisome, and depressed!                                                                                                                                      Psalm 126~ " Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy."

Monday, August 1, 2011

Hot In Wisconsin?

I can hardly even believe this myself ... I knew it was hot out yesterday as it was affecting the way I felt. Headache, fatigue, achy, lousy, you name it... but I had no idea the temp was actually up over 100 in the sun! Our house stays pretty cool on the inside with the AC and the ceiling fans so I really didn't notice too much until I looked out the kitchen window and noticed the needle! Of course this is in the sunniest spot! I couldn't help but take a picture to remind myself of this when I am sitting here this next winter freezing and looking out at all of that white stuff that we get here! It seemed like spring and summer would never get here to the north woods of  Wisconsin...and yet here it was Hot in Wisconsin yesterday! Waiting for things sometimes is a royal pain in the rear. It seems that things take extra long to take place when you are waiting especially for that one thing to happen! Looking at this yesterday I thought of how stupid it is to get all worked up over the waiting part... because summer does eventually come and what is supposed to happen usually takes place in the proper timing. So it may seem like something is just not happening right now and is taking forever but it will eventually.... so just hang in there and wait with patience. Just as the cold and ice turn to warmth and green grass, so the hardships of this life will soon turn to something more desirable.
                            "Wait on the Lord, be of good courage He shall strengthen thine heart."

my prayer

my prayer