This Worn Path

This worn path I've walked down before many years ago, and many times. The difference between then and now, is that now I walked it alone and then, I had little hands in mine and plastic buckets and blankets and towels, draped over the arms. As I now trudged wearily up this slightly inclined path, and stopped several times along the way to catch my breath... I wondered where the time had gone. It seemed like it was yesterday when it was a lazy summer's afternoon and my four children were playing in the water on their green alligator or building sand castles on the beach nearby. I take in the beauty of this place and the calming effect of the sound of the waves crashing upon the shore. This is one of my favorite places. I sit here on the concrete wall overlooking the water with so much weighing on my mind.

I have just come from a funeral. A very blunt reminder once again of the brevity of life. It sinks into my soul of how very quickly the past fifteen years have flown by. I try to recall them one by one but find it so difficult to picture all that I so desperately want to remember. I am ashamed of myself for how much time I have personally wasted on trivial things that really don't matter. I think again of my illness and wonder if perhaps I may not have much time left. I surely don't want to waste it on such trivial things. I want to be at peace with the people in my life and if they cant be at peace with me then they need to free me from themselves. Life is too short and goes by way too quickly...use your time wisely for you only pass this way once.