Welcome To My Green Pasture....

It is a place of quiet rest that I have found when I am writing. I hope that someone will find my musings helpful in some way.
Psalm 23:2 "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restoreth my soul."

My Green Pasture....

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Unusual Commitment

An unusual commitment is what we have....our marriage. Today marks our eight year anniversary. All together I have been married for twenty-seven years! You say....what? Yep...hate to admit my big faults but I have made many mistakes! So Rocky is husband number three! Our marriage came about as a result of an affair that should not have happened however God has forgiven us and we have to live past our failures and mistakes. We have definitely had our share of consequences due to it I am sure! Our entire marriage of eight years in a nutshell goes something like this....Rocky had a severe traumatic brain injury and was in intensive care for awhile, this was in 2003. He slowly recovered but had some lasting problems but was able to go back to doing some construction repair work. In 2005, he fell from a metal roof and had a second brain injury which was more severe. This time landed him in a hospital for three months. Since then he has had pneumonia several times, gallbladder surgery, stomach tumor, colon cancer, and is currently on about thirteen prescriptions. So you can see our marriage is not really normal as most would see it. I have many of my own problems to deal with as well. In between all of this we separated for about a year due to something else that came out that totally shocked me to death and I needed time away in order to heal and forgive. We do have a strange marriage.....not always what you would call "happily married" however the grace of God has been there for the both of us. Although we bicker and get at each other we do have a commitment to each other that goes deeper than most. I say if this marriage can survive, any can! It isn't always about being happy...it is about commitment, forgiveness, grace,and mercy. I have had  to do a lot of forgiving in my lifetime. It isn't always easy.  Anger is a big issue and until you deal with that...well it is difficult to forgive. I have had to show grace to someone who has betrayed me on the deepest level. It is hard! Only through praying each day can I make it. God helps me stay committed when I don't want to. So today I am "airing my dirty laundry" so to speak; I hope for the purpose of helping someone else. If you are in an affair....end it. It will bring some heavy consequences. If you are married, but unhappy,...well remember your vows and try to think of what attracted you in the first place to that person. Divorce is no answer....I should know...been there done that.  Anyway... an unusual commitment is what I have...in spite of all of my complaining sometimes and my frustrations with the way things are. I still have survived eight years of marriage and that is something to celebrate.

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